Having only been diagnosed with MS a few months ago, and having an absolute minimal knowledge of what MS does to ones body, I must say it has all been a bit of a shock. As I briefly discussed over in my previous post, On steroids, but won’t end up like Arnie Part 1, this week has been my first knowing experience of a relapse in full swing. What an up and down experience that has been, never know if you are coming or going!
This has caused all sorts of issues this week.
I am someone that tries to find the funny side in any situation. I honestly think that is the main reason I have got through this week with as much ‘ease’ (if we can call it that) as I have. A relapse is scary. I will not be afraid to say it, or admit it. I also will not let it rule me. The two don’t have to be mutually exclusive. I have had to take time off work to help sort myself back out, and as someone that has been brought up with the mindset that you only take time off school/work because you’re missing 9 toes and half a limb, it has been really difficult for me to come to terms with.
This week has been filled with functioning off minimal sleep, downing glasses of orange juice and putting a heated blanket in my bed. Which, whilst we are here, if you don’t have the latter I would totally recommend to get yourself one. Life saviour. When I am unwell in general I resort to drinking every last sip of Orange Juice that I can get my mitts on, this week was no different. There I was, stumbling my way around my house, trying to ensure I didn’t face plant my dog on the way to the fridge. Telling you now, you don’t realise how heavy a carton of orange juice is until you pick it up with your weak wrist and end up with an orange (well, it is more yellow really isn’t it) covered worktop. Laugh it off though, right?
My main aim this week has been to make it through a full day without retiring to my favourite position – horizontal, by lunch time. Each day trying to do something a little bit more productive than the last. Taking each day as it came and focusing on very small achievements has made it all so much easier. Being back in the doctors today complaining of chest pains, back pains and fearing that the steroids (which I will discuss further in a separate post) haven’t worked has made me feel like a bit of a paranoid mess, and I did feel like the progress I made mentally this week about having MS was starting to back track. But, it is Friday, it is the weekend and I have a few more weeks to try sort my mental and physical self out to get back to work.
The aim of the game is easy for me this week
- When you have minimal grip in your hand, don’t try pore yourself an OJ out of a full carton
- Sometimes, not lying down all day is an achievement in itself
- It is ok not to get better over night, be easy on yourself