Mid week thoughts, am I coming or going?

Ok, ok, I know what you’re all thinking. Looking through my blog at the moment thinking this lassy doesn’t know if she’s coming or going! One day her blog is full of positivity the next day it’s a post about being flat on her bum (with a bit of positivity thrown in because, you know, I’m a traditionalist). If I’m honest – I haven’t a clue! Not the foggiest. I feel so up and down at the moment I haven’t got a clue what’s going on. I wake up some days feeling fan-daby-dosey and other days I could just wrap my self in a fluffy blanket and watch Bridget Jones all day (first two are always my go to films, just if you ever need to know).

I’ve spoken so often now about changes happening at the moment and reminding myself to take it easy. The problem im finding at the moment is the tiredness, I’m getting spasms in my face, back pain that’s like an electric shock and such bad aches in my left leg im struggling to get up and down. I mean the benefit is having the office job, I don’t need to walk around much, but you know, it isn’t ideal. Going from being on top of the world to feeling so rubbish in the space of 24 hours is really effecting my mood and so the cycle continues.

I received an email just the other day from my MS nurse stating that I’m JC positive, so the meeting I have in a few weeks with a neurologist to discuss treatment is going to be interesting. They said if it came back positive that Tysabri would be off the cards but Lemtrada is being questioned because of history with kidney problems – but it’s also been stated by 3 neurologists that they want me on the ‘strongest’ (is that how you refer to them?) Disease Modifying Drugs. We will see though eyy.

I seriously need to remind myself that I’ve only known about my diagnoses since September. That is literally only what like 5 months? Ok now I’ve actually said that out loud it does feel like so much longer than I originally thought, but let’s just pretend for a minute that it isn’t that long at all. I don’t really think I’ve fully came to terms with everything either, just fob it off often as like ‘meh be reet’. So I don’t retract my previous post about it being a good year so far, because it has! It’s been a blast, but after 1 month down I think it’s time for hibernation? Yeah?

1. One month down, eleven more to go
2. When you don’t get enough sleep, your body goes a bit mad
3. Counting down the days hoping this next appointment has answers

As a side note too, I did NOT anticipate how much tiredness would effect me. These spasms in my face are freaking me right out, twitchy lip, twitchy cheek – I’ve never had such sensations!

Anyway, happy hump day!

H x