Just checking in, it’s Friday after all

I’ve been back in full time work for two weeks now. I have loved every single second of it, not sitting and just waiting for everyone to get home. Whilst I’m at work I tend to be in little to no pain, it gets to the last half hour and the drive home and I end up completely crippled. My head feels like someone is squeezing me so hard it might pop, the pains in my legs are stabbing and it’s reached a point where I can’t feel my left thigh. Like I know it’s there but when something brushes against it or I like poke it with my finger I know I’m doing it but I can’t feel the touch on my skin. I don’t even know how to word it to be honest.

It always just feels so much worse when you were supposed to have plans. Myself and my lad were having friends over but I’ve had to cancel to recover for Monday. I am absolutely gutted. It feels so weird trying to adjust anyway but I just want to live in a normal manner and spend weekends how I want to spend them. (I’m starting to feel a bit drama queen like and I do apologize for that)

When I got home tonight I literally just sat and cried. I feel so warn out and know I’ll just get used to it but my god.

I really hope that once I’m on treatment things will get better. My worry is that im pinning so much hope on ‘things will get better when…’ and then it won’t. Obviously only time will tell but it’s frustrating. It’s the one thing keeping me going and I’m forever convincing myself that actually it isn’t that easy.

  1. Take it a day at a time
  2. There’s a lot going on right now
  3. I know it’s stressful, but things will get better

Once again showing the many ups and downs of my current emotions. Literally forever on a rollercoaster ride.

But on a side note, my new blanket came and I will just have to vegitate wrapped in it over the weekend

H x

19 Comments

  1. I work full-time and I’ve noticed that when things are most stressful at work I don’t necessarily feel increased pain or fatigue in the midst of the chaos. However, once things calm down I crash very hard. The best thing you can do right now is taking things one day at a time like you said.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. This is exactly how I feel all week! I feel โ€œfineโ€ all day and then half four strikes and I need to walk to get the bus and my legs just stiffen up and I canโ€™t move so I have to sit around for 20 minutes just relaxing before I move off ๐Ÿ˜ซ and then Friday hits and all the exciting plans I made for the weekend feel like torture and I end up cancelling them all and just sleeping instead. I have a lot of holidays to use so recently Iโ€™ve been having a long weekend every few weeks like once a month which I find so helpful even if all I do is sleep! Glad youโ€™re liking your job, youโ€™ll settle in to a routine real quick xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Eee God it is so annoying isn’t it! Just repeating to yourself like come on now you can get through this one and ending up in bed!
      That is such a good idea on the long weekends! Get yourself a bit of extra rest every now and then!
      Thank you, fingers crossed! I hope things starring easing up for you soon ๐Ÿคž๐Ÿคž xxx

      Like

  3. When you are really beating yourself up up over how you are feeling – ask yourself “if a friend was saying all of this to me, what would I say to comfort her?”

    Then say whatever those words of comfort are to yourself. You are recently diagnosed and still transitioning through the process (also pre-medication) – so be kind to yourself. You are clearly doing all that you can. Unfortunately, MS or not, we are human and have limitations. You will figure out what you need to do to adapt so you can do more, but that takes time. Right now, focus on comforting and soothing yourself as part of the physically healing process (from the fatigue and pain). You are worth it.

    I hope you feel better after a few days rest.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. It’s amazing to be back working full time and it will just take time for your body to adjust. I always find it just takes agesssss, well it always feels like ages. :/ But really just working full time is an amazing achievement. Think about what you are achieving and the rest will come in time. ๐Ÿ™‚ xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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